In the end it'd be the same
by housemd34
Summary: AU. Dean Winchester is hurt whilst hunting a vampire and is in the hospital to be evaluated for possible suicide tendencies. Due to the truth being even crazier than fiction, he doesn't say anything and allows them the satisfaction. There he meets the patient Sam Harrison and after that nothing is the same. Warning: mental illness.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own it.**

* * *

***Prologue***

Sammy was inconsolable.

Mary was dead and Dean wasn't talking but Sammy cried almost all the time. The littlest touch made him cry and it didn't help that he only slept in intervals of forty five minutes at a time. There was something different about his child, something he couldn't understand and he hoped that everything could go back to normal. John wanted his wife back. He wanted Dean to talk and Sam to be better but he could see that wasn't going to happen.

It had only been a couple of months though and he expected it to improve but the feeling in his heart was still empty and he had two little kids under the age of five to protect all the while learning about what had really happened out there. He knew that it wasn't a simple fire gone wrong. It wasn't faulty wiring, he knew that. He knew it and he found the truth to be a little more unsettling. He really didn't want to know what was really out there but his wife's death also showed him something else as well.

A ringing cry broke out right on queue and John heaved a sigh. He was up and if he was right in his assumptions then his youngest son wasn't in the need of a diaper change. He was fed two hours ago so he wasn't likely to be hungry as well so he didn't know what it was. Was he afraid having witnessing his mother's death that he wasn't safe anymore? Because there was nothing he would rather do than to provide safety for both of his sons. Dean looked over in silent irritation and John shot him a look trying to get him to understand. Dean was missing his mom so he had to realize that Sam was too. The only difference being that Sam wouldn't remember her.

"S-Sammy," John almost broke out crying at that. Dean was trying to console the little baby and he even said his younger brother's name. Astonished, he went over and kissed Sam on the forehead and hugged Dean tightly to his chest.

"It's gonna be alright Dean. We're going to get through this."

"Sammy is crying," Dean rasped. "Why?"

John sighed and turned to pick him up despite the level of noise increasing dramatically instead of decreasing.

"I think he has colic son. It's gonna be almost impossible to get him to stop now but he should be sleeping more. I know he should be. Remember how your brother used to sleep for the whole night?"

Dean nodded and threaded his fingers through Sam's soft baby hair. John smiled at the silent gesture of comfort even though it didn't have the desired effect at all for the crying infant. He was made to be a big brother and Dean was doing a superb job already.

"Why doesn't he anymore?"

"Because he's missing the same person we are. I just don't think he realizes what it means."

"Okay," Dean said after a moment's silent. Turning to Sam, he kept moving his hand over his hair and face in a comforting and soothing manner until Sam eventually quieted down. "It's okay Sammy. I won't let anything harm you. I'm your big brother and I'll make sure nobody ever hurts you."

He kissed the little baby on the forehead and let a smile grace his lips.

John never thought he saw such a sight. He was happy that they were getting along so well but frowned when he realized the new set of problems he had. His sister was available to help him and even offered to babysit for a bit while he got himself back together. He knew of a psychic that could help him and that was what he was going to do only after the children were in a safe place. It would be only temporary until he could get to the bottom of the tragedy that night and then he could work on getting his revenge. It would be hard with two small children around but then again, he wasn't going to let anyone else raise his kids. They were his and he knew what was best for them.

He didn't know how wrong he was.

* * *

"Dean what are you doing?"

It was late and he didn't want to deal with this. His sister was beside herself with worry though and he was finally able to pull both the boys away to spend some time with them before he followed up on the contact that one Missouri Mosley had given him. He was going to do it too. He couldn't believe how long it had been and yet it still felt like yesterday when Mary had died. It kept him driven though. He was going to get the creature that did that to his Mary if it was the last thing he did.

"Dad, Sammy won't go to sleep and he keeps whimpering and stuff." Dean answered hesitantly.

John nodded.

"Then why the hell are you complaining? Sammy hardly sleeps anymore and he is always doing that weird crap. Just leave him alone and maybe he'll get over it sometime."

Dean nodded biting his lip.

"Aunt Cherry is worried cause Sammy hasn't talked much and he isn't crawling," Dean added hesitantly.

John nodded.

"Well your aunt Cheryl should realize that babies develop at a different time."

He knew that that alone was farfetched but he didn't want Dean to be worried too. Cheryl and even her husband Tom had told him several times that something had been wrong with his youngest son and he still wanted to deny it. There was nothing wrong with the kid except for the fact that he had to see his mother start on fire on the ceiling of his nursery. He was getting better though, he told himself. The kid wasn't crying as much and for a nine month old who didn't crawl, he at least sat up now. He even drew weird stuff on the walls at some point. He knew because Cheryl complained that it was weird stuff but at least he was doing something that proved that he was in fact not retarded.

"Shouldn't he at least want to crawl though daddy?" Dean asked suddenly.

John sighed.

"Maybe he just isn't ready Dean. Look, if he turns one and he's still not crawling or at least showing interest in walking, I'll get it checked out. I promise Dean that nothing will happen to Sammy as long as we're both here looking out for him. Your aunt and uncle love him too and will make sure he's real healthy, okay?"

Dean looked a little doubtful but nodded otherwise all the while playing with his toys. Dean was five believe it or not and was already starting kindergarten. He was a smart cookie, always was and John really wanted him to be happy and to have the childhood he should have had but he didn't want to abandon them. They needed him more than ever.

"Dean?" Dean looked over and John smiled. "I know that you know that the fire was no accident. Daddy is doing all he can to make sure that the thing that caused it is punished. Daddy is the only one that can do it because the police won't believe the thing that did and I'd be labeled as crazy. You understand that I have to do this so that your mommy could rest in peace right?"

Dean nodded without a hesitation.

"Daddy are we going to get the monsters?" he asked and John nodded an affirmative. "I don't think Sammy likes the monsters."

John looked over to his younger child who was still wearing the same onesie he saw him in earlier but he was kicking his feet in irritation and looked to be in a deep conversation, one that only Sammy seemed to understand.

"Sammy, baby who are you talking to?" John didn't believe in coincidences and Sammy's wide blue-green eyes looked over. For a second it was like everything was normal again and Sammy was going to babble like he normally did whenever one of the members of the family spoke to him.

Sam burst out crying.

Dean went over and tried to sooth him but Sammy wasn't hearing it. He babbled though, in between the cries and that was something. John leaned back to make sure nothing bad happened but other than that he knew that Dean had the situation under control.

Jeez Mary, he thought closing his eyes and wishing it was all a dream. Sammy was never going to be normal, Dean was growing up way too fast, and in all this he could only think of one thing.

What would Mary do if she were stuck in his position?

* * *

"Sammy walk to me baby boy."

Cheryl walked in and it was easy to tell that she was stressed and angry. John stopped hoping that she would either keep walking or explain what was going on. He didn't do anything that he could remember that would have made her mad and yet she stopped in front of him.

"Sam slapped another child in daycare today," she told him with a barely restrained voice. "The other day he bit another child just for laying a hand on his head. Apparently the other child liked to pat the little kids on the head. Sam has been having all sorts of behavioral problems that the workers have noticed in a five month period. John, Sam is almost one year old. They think he has autism since the only thing that they could get him to say is what he repeats back to them. He doesn't make friends and he could hardly walk. He hasn't crawled a day in his life and he's behind in his motor skills-"

"But Sammy does talk," John tried to defend.

"Yes he talks to the wall, not to people. He has an imagination but even then he's lacking in a lot John and I can't pretend that it's okay. You are going to be leaving to see this contact again and taking your kids with you. Wouldn't it be better to know what's wrong before you leave-"

"Like I said there's nothing wrong with Sammy!" John shouted.

There was a ringing silence and looking over to Sammy, John finally knew that there was indeed something wrong with him that he had tried to deny for many months. Sam didn't like talking to people, he didn't like sleeping and that was for sure, and even worse, he didn't have all the motor or social functions a normal eleven month old had. Dean was worried and that was clear even though he didn't know any better. He sighed and drew a hand over his face.

"What about what he writes on the wall? It doesn't appear to be simple nothing-"

"Yes it doesn't appear to be simple anything but we all know that it isn't complex either. Sammy is probably exhibiting like I said, symptoms of autism. It could be a mild form but he still is growing and they won't diagnose him until he's three. I know it's hard and you're getting back onto your feet after the death of the one you love but Sam should come first right now. Dean too. Dean and Sam should be your number one concern-"

"It is. I'm taking Dean with me to see a friend then. I'm worried about Sam and if you're right, he shouldn't be coming with me. It's not fair to him, if you could, if there's no problem-"

"NO!" Cheryl yelled before saying in a more calm tone. "I'd love to watch after him John. You knew that from the beginning. I can't have any kids of my own anyways and watching him for you would be fine. Me and Tom would be less lonely anyways."

John nodded.

He hated doing this but revenge was always on his mind and he couldn't really bring Sam along if there were difficulties, especially mental ones. Sam wasn't going to be any use to him and he did love him, this was Mary's baby but he wasn't going to involve him in this anymore.

That he was sure of.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own it.**

* * *

***Chapter One***

Life sucked.

Dean came to that conclusion somewhat quickly although he was glad that the vampire was disposed of. Gordon was some crazy mother fucker though and he was glad he was away from that crazy twit. Of course that meant that he didn't have anybody to help patch him up and his arm was oozing enough blood that would make him feel the effects soon if it didn't get it stitched and closed up. Sighing, he decided to risk the emergency room knowing full well that there was no way that they were going to treat him and let him go.

"Mister you need to sign the forms-OH MY GOD!"

Once she realized what he had come in for, she quickly called for the nurse and he was getting the attention he desperately needed. If he thought that it would be that simple, he was sadly mistaken once the doctor took a look at the jagged looking slash on his arm although he did get it treated.

"Now that we have the wound patched up I think you know the talk we're going to have," the doctor was straight to the point and Dean couldn't argue with that. "We're keeping you for the night for observation and if you would like to call somebody up or something, we won't disallow that but it was a suspicious cut and-"

"I suppose you won't believe me when I say it was a cooking incident would you?" Dean asked interrupting the doctor and causing him to look at him in bewilderment. "Nope, I knew it so am I being admitted as a patient or going to the psych ward?"

The doctor glared and even though Dean wasn't in the mood, he was proud that he had been able to get underneath the doctor's skin. He was a jack ass and Gordon Walker was a dead man the next time he saw him. Nobody got the drop on him and then ran when things fell apart. It was part of the reason the vampire got him in the first place. Dad hadn't helped any by being in Michigan now. Damn man was probably under the assumption that he finally found mom's murderer and Dean would have been happy since it's been so long but he wasn't. It was November and the same time each year that he remembered being without his mom but at least he had Sam with him.

He almost lost it at the thought of his little brother. His little brother stayed with his aunt and uncle and even though he didn't like it he had trusted his dad, something he now knew he shouldn't have done. His dad kept limited contact with them and through that found out when Sammy had been diagnosed with schizophrenia which hadn't made any sense at the time because Dean was normal and Sam was definitely normal. Sam also had an IQ of like 189 though and he knew there was a point that he wouldn't have minded looking after his younger brother only now he knew it was too late since his aunt, uncle, and younger brother were all dead.

He heaved a sigh at that and tried to close those angsty thoughts away.

"Well the psychiatrist will speak with you and if you feel that you don't want to play well then we can change it to a forty-eight hour observation. It's up to you," the doctor added with a smug smile.

Bastard he thought wryly. Dean listened though and didn't fight them when he was led to the psychiatric floor. The doctor there was an elderly gentleman by the name of Smith and it was so common that Dean let out a snort at the thought of out of all the doctors having that name, it was a psychiatrist.

"Most patients find that funny as well," Dr. Smith admitted when Dean finally told him why he had laughed. "Come on you can call me Jeremiah. I hate to think of someone feeling overwhelmed because of my title so I try to make them as comfortable as possible."

"Yeah and how many crazy people have you got calling you by your first name?" Dean asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Currently three. One of them is a paranoid schizophrenic. He wasn't here long but before that he was functioning normally. Has a high IQ and was going to Stanford University. Then there's a manic-depressive with suicide ideation that calls me by my first name and the last one is manic-depressive. The others are a little more understanding and prefer the title but then they aren't in here for manic or psychotic episodes either."

"Yeah they're probably here for the view. Or maybe because they live outside, we could just assume that right? It must be because to a homeless person, this place must be paradise."

Jeremiah just smiled serenely.

"Just remember that you are here for one day and if you can't get along don't start anything, I'll put you in longer but if you don't think you need to be, that'd be great. I think you should make it an experience you'll never forget."

Dean just nodded along with it.

"Here let me show you where everything is," Jeremiah commented and yet Dean found himself along for the duration and had no choice anyways so he followed.

"This is the day room where the patients are here. I know it's silly of me to show you everything since it's only one day but like I said, why knock it when you'll probably never be in one again?"

Dean rolled his eyes but stayed along listening to everything as the doctor explained the hours and when dinner was going to be. He also explained the rules and showed him his room. At the end he was glad that he did even though he hoped as hell he'd never be admitted for observation ever again. The ins and outs of a psych ward sucked and he would not be coming back.

He paused at the day room and upon seeing the many people there, took a seat at the table, trying to calm his beating heart. He wasn't crazy but a lot of them here were and he knew to avoid direct confrontation but he wasn't sure if they did. Damn it his dad was gonna kill him, especially since he was told he shouldn't be anywhere near Palo Alto. But shit there had been the signs that his dad warned him about and he wanted to check if the demon went through here.

He nearly jumped out of his chair and noticed there was another guy joining the table, taking a seat right across from him but he seemed to be younger than him. He didn't seem threatening and that was something. Your own brother was fine too before they diagnosed him with that life altering mental illness.

"This is Sam. Sam say hello." The nurse was cute although Dean would be crazy to hit on her, especially since she was always around the crazies. He had nothing against that much but still there was the fact that he would never hit on someone who worked closely with them and he'd like to stick to that.

"Hello," he said plainly, seemingly ignoring everyone else and throwing the pad onto the table.

"Sam don't be rude." She scolded. To Dean she continued. "Sam has been here for three days and yet he doesn't like to take his meds. It's not as bad though, is it Sam?"

"The shadow people went away. They don't like it here," he commented as though it was normal. Dean nodded.

"What do these shadow people look like?" Dean asked curiously. What other people might call crazy, he knew was probably something related to whatever went bump in the night. Besides he looked far from crazy and must have been blamed for seeing something. He hoped anyways because he really did seem normal.

"Shadow people," he repeated as though it was obvious. Dean wanted to laugh but held it in knowing he didn't know how he'd take it yet.

"We don't talk about the delusions," the nurse interrupted. There was the reason that Dean hated the majority of them right there. How was he supposed to ignore it when it was obviously there? "We don't do that because they aren't really there-"

"Do you see the shadow people often?" Dean asked interrupting the nurse pointedly.

Sam arched an eyebrow and smiled a little.

"You believe me? They, I've seen them five days ago. Scary, though. Don't piss them off. They attack your brain and, and-"

"That's enough Mr. Harrison," The nurse quickly took over the situation. Turning to Dean, she glared and explained. "Five days ago Sam had a psychotic break from reality and said there were shadow people who wanted to eat his insides. He wouldn't specify and it was known that he's got childhood onset schizophrenia so that's the only option I would think. How about you?"

"I think that if he believes it is real then nothing you say or don't say is going to change that," Dean quickly let her know. "In fact if you talk about it more, he may be more stable because that just means you care enough to find out and then Sammy here can come to trust someone."

Sam bobbed his head in agreement but the nurse continued to glare.

Dean ignored her for the sake of continuing to converse to Sam. In a way he couldn't stop himself, he thought about his brother and even though he knew he would never see him again, there was someone here with the same first name and seemed to take to him rather quickly. He couldn't be a big brother but he could be a great friend.

It hurt though because Sam was his responsibility and he had been taken away.

* * *

"Bobby, say what would you think about shadow people?" Dean was happy that they allowed phone calls. He didn't know what he would do without.

"Say what boy? Are you drunk again or did your daddy get you into another hunt that got you well in the head?"

"Could be the blood loss from the freaking vamp but I'm okay. I was just asking cause one of the patients here goes by the name of Sam Harrison and he was talking about shadow people who like to eat insides. I was thinking and wanted to establish if it was real or not."

Bobby seemed to understand oddly enough.

"I know you must feel an odd sense of responsibility, déjà vu, or whatever but that don't make him your younger brother. He's not and replacing his memory with another schizophrenic adopted brother isn't going to make things better-"

"I know but I just…" he paused and continued with more fervor. "I loved my brother and he's been dead for some time. Everyone I know either go off on insane revenge quests or die and leave me here. No matter what happens I'm always left here alone. I just, I was thinking that maybe I could have someone to be responsible of even though they aren't really all there and I would still care. I would and I can't believe that I didn't get the chance with Sammy Bobby. I would have loved to-"

"I know and I think John regrets it if he even remembers Sam long enough. He's bent on revenge Dean and that's going to always be on his mind. I'm thinking when he decided to give him to your aunt that he was thinking more into if he would be useful in a hunt or not. Also he's been safe and for what it's worth, he has always loved ya too. Sammy loved you best and John knew it."

Dean just nodded and tried to keep the tears at bay. It always happened this way whenever he talked about the younger brother he never got to see and now would never see again.

"I'm really thinking of investigating it though. No harm done right? Shadow people aren't really-"

"Your daddy called Dean and was wondering where you are. I'm taking that the hunt wasn't all cut and dry which probably means you're there for observation. Just whatever you do, take care and don't get caught. I'd say don't sneak an insane patient out but figured you'd only listen to advice you think matters."

"Thanks Bobby," Dean managed. "I think you know what I'm going to do but don't you worry a bit. I won't get caught and I promise that it won't go to the point of federal agents. Nobody misses schizophrenics unless they're dangerous and he doesn't seem that way."

Bobby nodded with a yawn and Dean assumed it was because he was tired.

"Okay Dean just remember to stay safe and if you're in my neck of the woods, don't hesitate to visit you idjit."

Dean felt a warm feeling in his chest and wondered if he would actually go through with this. He knew he told Bobby he would but he had no idea but the more he thought about it the more he realized that this Sam reminded him of another one and he closed his eyes realizing that he wouldn't trade his brother for anyone.

But his brother wasn't ever coming back.

* * *

"You seriously call this dinner?"

Dean ignored the reply he got and instead focused on Sam who seemed to be quite taken with him after he took an interest in what he had to say. He glared at the nurses who thought this was a good dinner and knew that this was something they'd never eat. He hoped one day that they were in this predicament and got stuck with the nasty ass food although Sam seemed to be eating it okay. Sighing he took a bite and forced himself to chew it down. God, it was even worse in his mouth than what he imagined. It tasted like ass. He pushed it away and decided if Sam liked it so much, he could have his as well.

Sam looked grateful and Dean found his heart swell with hidden joy. After dinner was cleared up and pills were given out, one in which Sam had to be held down and forced to take the three pills he was seemingly on, everyone was in a circle with the doctor in the middle.

"Okay how about we share one thing about ourselves for all the new people in the room?" he suggested with a small that had Dean's teeth grating. He was sure the doctor didn't have their best interests in heart no matter what he said and it was simplified by the fact that the patients seemed less willing to make a scene unless they really wanted to be heard.

"I'm Isabella and I just have to say that the food tasted like shit," she said with obvious distaste.

"Miss Isabella I think that you have to realize that everyone in the hospital gets this food and –"

"Doesn't mean it doesn't suck," She interrupted with obvious dislike. Finally she changed the subject before Jeremiah could get a chance to even speak. "Hello to all of those who are new here, I'm Isabella Stanton and I just have to say that I don't like it here. I'm here in the beginning because I almost hit my stepfather hard enough to kill him and didn't feel sorry at all. I hate it that mom married him and I probably should have gone about it a healthier way instead of trying to bludgeon him with a frying pan now that I think about it. I was a straight a student before that and going to Stanford University for veterinary purposes. I'm eighteen years old and I hear voices."

Dean couldn't believe it but some of the things really did point to the obvious. After her a couple of others introduced themselves before Jeremiah pointedly looked towards Sam who had his eyes downward and trying to avoid everyone else's direct contact as much as possible.

"Sam we talked about this," Jeremiah said with a sigh. "Why don't we talk and then I will make it so that you don't have to tomorrow?"

Sam nodded finally still not looking up although Dean couldn't blame him.

"I'm Sam and I-I've had paranoid schizophrenia my whole life. I'm here because I saw something that I know now isn't real but it looked really real at the time. It is normally controlled with the medication but I stopped taking it after my girlfriend was burned in our apartment building. Nobody believes me but she was burning from the ceiling," he added and Dean stopped short to stare at him. There was no way he thought but he knew it was reasonable. In fact he now had another reason to pull him than he thought. If the demon pulled that with Sam then he wasn't safe here. He wasn't safe anywhere near here and he just had to protect him.

"Sam," Jeremiah interrupted. "They said that you were distraught and complaining the day before that the monster was after you. There is no way your girlfriend was on the ceiling and you know this. You also know that you have more horrible relapses whenever you stop taking your meds. You've known this for a while-"

"But it's true!" Sam finally shouted. "The shadow people are after me! It's true. I'm not lying. They want my brain and they want it bad! I told you this and you don't listen! I keep trying to tell you but you keep refusing to believe me. They want my brain out of my skull and they want to eat it!"

Jeremiah looked mad throughout and only after he finished did he finally speak in a deliberately calm voice. Although to a person like Sam it didn't seem to matter. He was still shaking just from the thought that these shadowy figures would want to do something horrific and in his viewpoint it was. Dean just didn't understand why the psychiatrist would refuse to listen and try to talk in a calm and collected manner instead of using this direct approach that wasn't helping any. Like Isabella, Sam probably had an idea that talking was useless though.

"There's no one out to get your brain Sam. It's all in your head and if you kept taking your medication as prescribed you'd know-"

"They want my blood though. They do, I'm telling you this because it's true. They want to hurt me and you don't care!"

"Sam I do care but you need to listen to me now. Eyes over here now!" Sam hesitantly looked over and Jeremiah continued. "There's no such thing as the shadow people. Your mind is making it up to make up for the death of your girlfriend which was tragic but nothing more than a simple accident of leaving the stove on. You know this Sam. Now are you going to behave or are we going to intervene like last time?"

Sam shook his head, his blue-green eyes looking huge and puppy like. Dean honestly couldn't take it and stood up before the doctor could continue to humiliate him for something that was obviously very real in some degree to him.

"Hello I'm Dean," he said giving the doctor a smug look. "I'm here because of an incident that caused my arm to break open and ooze blood but I have no other issues. I like mullet rock, drive an impala that was handed down to me by my dad, and I agree with Isabella when I say the food here sucks. I'd go on to comment on what I see about more things but that would be rude and inconsiderate of me. I do think though that I'm done with sharing time and was wondering if Jeremiah would like to share his more interesting stories? Maybe about any patients that didn't end up decking you?"

He knew he was going to get into trouble in the end but he didn't have any second thoughts.

Sam was plenty happy and that was the only thing he even cared about right now.

The fact that Sam was happy made what he did worth it.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own it.**

* * *

***Chapter Two***

Dean knew he was doing something very risky.

He knew where the nurses were stationed though and waited until the change of shift until he made his move. Sam was all the way in the other hall, apparently because he didn't take well to the lights off policy and if there was one thing Dean knew, not all monsters were completely made up. He made sure to keep into the shadows and stay near the walls so that he wouldn't be spotted. He paused at the end of one of the hallways seeing two nurses chatting away and mentally sighed although he was relieved not to be caught. It would be only a matter of time though and he needed to get a move on. He paused to listen though when the one nurse began to giggle.

"I know right? I was like, why do I have to be on the psych floor where there is a bunch of stupid crazies and then I realized they are too crazy to know anything. Dr. Smith tries and tries but they never respond but you know what finally did? Sticking them to three other psychotic meds and they are laid back and groggy-"

"I know. Too bad OB isn't in the need. I'd rather help assist in the delivery of a baby then to deal with another psychotic episode." The brunette smiled as the blonde recanted several stories making Dean's skin crawl at the very thought.

Luckily they wouldn't have to worry about a couple of them soon enough. He quickly made sure he was extra quiet and wasn't seen despite the fact that they didn't pay any attention to the fact and let out a small breath of relief when he finally was able to lose sight of them. 337 was the number he was looking for and he was glad because he wasn't staying here another extra minute. He made his way over and pulled a clip from the clip board and walked over to Sam's bed. Sam was up and didn't seem to like the idea of being handcuffed to the bed which probably happened each and every night he was here. He shook his head and quickly worked on unlocking them as silently as he could.

Sam looked scared out of his mind and he couldn't blame him. Before Sam could utter a sound, he quickly covered his mouth and forced him to look him in the eye. Keeping it stern, he needed to get this across to him as quickly as possible so that they could get the hell out of dodge.

"Sammy calm down okay, we'll get out of here and then I will personally take you to someone who can get you the right medication but you won't stay in a hospital. I'll take care of you okay? Just trust in me and believe me when I say it, I will keep you safe alright? Okay, just shape up and I'm getting you out of here," he whispered quietly trying to sooth him so that he wouldn't scream.

"Now I'm gonna take my hand away and we aren't going to scream or cause a commotion. Okay?"

Sam nodded after a moment of hesitation and Dean removed his hand, turning around to look for some clothes that he had to have that weren't patient identifiable. He found some faded jeans and a long black shirt and helped him into his shoes, glad that he was taking this extra step. Next he took a hat and covered his head with it. It wasn't quite cold but he didn't want to chance Sam getting sick as soon as they hit the next state which definitely was.

"Where are we going?" Sam finally said in a low shaky voice.

Dean smiled and just patted his head.

"Calm down and do what I do okay?"

Sam nodded and Dean was at least happy that he was calm right now. He knew that schizophrenics weren't always this collected and the medication they must have dosed him with was doing something good for the time being although thanks to the conversation he heard, he wasn't going to be keeping him on them and just hoped he could identify what it was and if he should get it off him right away compared to slowly so it would be out of his system.

He led him out and made sure that he was behind him and was ensured that he was. Sam was holding onto the back of his jacket so to make sure that he would stay with, he quickly made it to go at a fast pace, stopping every so often to make sure that they wouldn't be caught. He stopped near the nurses office and swore quietly, covering Sam's mouth to keep him from sounding off and giving his location. He knew it wasn't his fault but he could tell it was starting to get bad and if there was any truth from what he heard; Sam yelled a lot around this time. They were going to start wondering soon after all.

"New plan, we're going into the office and getting Doctor Jeremiah's keys and we'll get the code and slip out. My uncle would love to see you. We'll tell you everything and help you along, make you better. We'll keep you safe and make sure nothing bad happens to-we'll protect you as best we can," Dean amended at the last second mostly due to the fact that he had said the same of Sammy and he couldn't keep anything bad from happening to him. He couldn't promise anyone the same again but he could protect to the best of his ability.

"My head hurts," Sam told him out of the blue.

Dean nodded.

The situation would escalate fast and he didn't want it out of hand. He quickly went through the good doctor's things, spotted Sam's record and decided to keep it as simple reading to find out what the hell he put. He also took the key and his things back that was confiscated upon entry into this ward. Pausing, he turned to Sam and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I know that it doesn't seem like it but it's going to be alright okay?"

Sam nodded and twisted his hand through his jacket, grabbing onto a good portion of it. Dean sighed and continued on, quickly twisting the key into the door. What he hadn't expected was for the alarm to go off as soon as he opened the door. Fuck he thought and quickly pushed Sam through, quickly following. He knew they wouldn't make it all the way down and quickly just made to hide somewhere until everyone was clear of the section.

Seeing as he was now on the ground level, he quickly decided to screw it though since they must have thought he was a crazy person and that he wouldn't be that rational about it. He managed to get Sam in the passenger seat of the car and got in behind the wheel, glad once he was already out of the hospital driveway and on the highway. He let out a long laugh, relieved that it wasn't really that hard to break out of the mental institution. All they apparently needed was to have a rational mind in the beginning. He turned to Sam after a moment and wondered how he was taking it.

"You okay Sammy?"

Sam nodded, bobbing his head frantically and then held onto his head like it was hurting him.

"Talk to me, what's going on," Dean continued. "Sam I have a rational mind and you have my word that I won't tell you to stop talking about it or pretend that it isn't real because I will take into consideration everything you say okay?"

Sam nodded, although he was avoiding eye contact now and really seemed to be in pain. Dean wondered if he should grab the first aid in the back or if it was in conjunction with that Sam hasn't been to sleep yet and it was twelve in the fricking morning. Whatever it was, Dean couldn't just hold out until morning but he couldn't stop driving either until he put some distance between them and the hospital.

"They're in my head!" Sam screamed. Dean cursed and pulled over. Taking off the hat he covered him with before, he couldn't find anything and yet Sam was going on and on about it. "They're gonna kill me, help me please!"

"Sam I'm trying, you got to tell me what's in your head okay? Tell me and I'll help."

"They are," Sam answered as though that was the answer. Dean rolled his eyes.

"I know that but what is it that is in your head?"

"Worm things." Sam answered. "They're gonna get inside and eat my brains. Please help!"

Dean nodded reassuringly.

"Here I'm looking okay and I'll pluck anything I find trying to make their way into your head okay? They aren't going to get in on my watch, I promise." Sam nodded reassuringly and allowed him to go through his hair and search for every little strand, occasionally making a sound of displeasure when he missed a spot or telling him they were more that way. "Okay I think you're free buddy and we'll keep this hat on okay?"

Sam nodded.

"You tired or hungry yet?" Dean asked and again Sam shook his head. "Alright but try to sleep okay? I know that you aren't going to be comfy but I could get a blanket in the back. Just let me know when something else happens okay?"

Sam nodded again.

"Okay, we need to get this going and I need to get you to see a doctor." At Sam's scared expression, Dean quickly calmed him down or attempted to adding, "Not that Smith douche just a doctor that could give you the meds you need so that you don't have to worry so much. I know it sounds crazy but you don't want to freak out right? And I'll make sure he doesn't do anything crazy or maybe we can get you a nice female doctor? Hmm?"

Sam didn't seem pretty happy but he laid his head back as Dean started the car. One thing already averted, Dean tried not to think about anything else that he was suffering from. Sam proved to be a smart kid and all of a sudden it was like he had Sammy back, that he never even went away.

"I'm not replacing you Sammy, I just learned that I need to take care of other people too and if I could help this kid, I could make up for the fact that I couldn't do that for you. Please don't be angry, I wish dad made you my responsibility and it wouldn't change things in the end, but I'll do the best I could." He whispered after a moment and realizing that Sam was out like a light. "I know you would have liked it, as crazy as they kept telling me you were, you had a heart of gold and loved everyone. But they forgot one thing when they took you away from me Sammy."

He gulped, keeping a good eye on Sam whilst keeping his eye on the road. What would have Sammy turned out like? What would he have been able to do and would have done? These thoughts would forever plague his mind but the only thing that never did was the one thing he would always have. It kept him strong and was the thing that convinced him that Sam needed help because even though it was not Sammy, he was in the same amount of trouble and this was someone he was able to help, quite unlike Sammy.

"In the end they didn't realize how much I'd be willing to do. And all the things I won't ever be able to now."

* * *

Sam was quiet upon waking up and Dean had almost wanted to shoot somebody. Sam was obviously tired but he wasn't sleeping and if he wasn't sleeping than Dean was going to lose sleep. They stopped in Colorado and Dean wanted to make sure that he was there within sight so he wouldn't lose him. He didn't even take any form of medication in the last twelve hours so he was bound to be hallucinating or having a delusional episode but Dean only came across one at the time being and he was able to avert that fast. He groaned realizing that his dad had called and it was four in the morning but apparently it wasn't too early for his dear old dad. He clicked the phone and answered with a tired 'hello' even though he really just wanted to say 'what do you want' and waited for a reply.

"I heard you got yourself admitted to the psych ward. How was it son?" John seemed a tad too amused and Dean just wanted to knock that off his father's face imagining that he must be smug about it.

"It's the same as any other place," Dean stopped and bit his lip, taking in the fact that Sam didn't seem as content before as he had and wanted to end the call quickly to make his way over to Bobby's. The longer he was off the medication, the worse it would be and even though he didn't agree with it, obviously there was a reason he was on them before. If they were a waste of time he would look that over too and guess what the best course of action would be.

"Okay I need you to go to Black Water Ridge, Colorado," John told him.

"There's a case?" Dean managed yawning and realizing just how tired he really was. Oh Sam wasn't going to like this, he thought. Even though he knew it wouldn't make things better, he couldn't have Sam going around unsupervised either.

"Yeah and from the sounds of it, you should sleep first. Where's Gordon? I thought he was helping you with the vampire in Cali," his father's tone suggested that he hoped Dean didn't trail off too far and Dean rolled his eyes. Nothing got past his dad.

"He ditched. Apparently he didn't count on the second vamp and that cut I got earned me a good four hours of observation. I probably shouldn't go back to Cali anytime soon since I broke out." Now that he thought about it, he should've flung the key as far as he could when he left and was half wondering why he still kept it.

"Just get some sleep and go there in the morning. I'll talk to Gordon-"

"Nope I have a new partner and as soon as I take care of some things, I believe that things will be alright again."

"Okay but don't get sent to another hospital. We don't need a good trail-"

"I know so go work on your demon problem and I'll take care of this. Isn't that how we always do it? You take care of the big one and I take care of everything else?"

Sam appeared to be in the mood now and he had to hang up fast before John realized that the partner he had wasn't quite sane. It wasn't like he was going to give him weapons and all that but still his father would be pissed.

"Dean are you still on that? I am doing everything I can to get back at the thing that caused all this. After I make sure he can't hurt anyone else then-"

"You've been saying that for years dad. The only difference is that we no longer have Sammy with us." Dean snapped.

He heard a sigh and couldn't help but be further irritated.

"Look Dean I know that you care about Sammy but he's where he needs to be-"

Dean hung up and flung himself on the floor, trying to trap Sam so that he couldn't hurt himself. He should've seen this from miles but the call with his dad was distracting him. He didn't care at the moment that John Winchester felt like he was being misunderstood. Right now Sam was having a psychotic break and he swore realizing that he would have to do what he was hoping to prevent.

"Sam listen you have to calm down because I don't want to do this-"He didn't expect to be hit so hard and he was quite irritated with that but chose not to comment right away. He waited a second to calm down so he wasn't yelling at him and then said quite clearly, "We don't hit Sam even when we're irritated. We talk it out and-"

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! THE SHADOW PEOPLE ARE COMING AFTER ME AND I NEED TO GO! LET ME-"

Snatching his arms and pinning them above him, he fought to move them onto the bed and then sat on him to keep him in place whilst he at least attempted to make the handcuffs he had less traumatic. He padded them to prevent chafing and then cuffed him there, trying to get him to calm down.

"Sam we have to calm down okay there is no way I could help you if you don't tell me a thing about these shadow people-"

"Let me out, they're crawling everywhere," Sam whimpered. "Can't be here, they'll get me."

"Sam?" Dean didn't know about the shadow people but this, he couldn't really say was real. He didn't know many things but he knew enough to know that if he couldn't see something and he could, it was because of his mental condition and not something else. "Listen it's not real, you have to calm down and breathe normally. I know you can't sleep or move when all you really want to do is to scream and run. Just calm down and think about this. Okay? Just-"

Dean was getting tired of being spit on and slapped quite enough already and didn't hesitate to stick a sock in his mouth although afterwards he felt pretty guilty about it. He had to remember that he needed more patience which was also hard to do when he had someone spitting on him as well. Pausing long enough to comfort him as much as he could, he took the bed closest to the door and paused before removing the sock and getting out the salt, purposely making sure he could see him laying the grains down on the window sills and the doors.

"See that? This stuff is good. Salt keeps the evil things out okay? Just calm down and try to get some sleep. I wish I could take those cuffs off but I can't until morning. I'll sleep some and then once the sun is all the way up and I wake up, we could get something to eat."

Sam apparently wasn't happy with the set up but he was calmer and Dean could only hope it was because he was playing into his hallucinations. He knew that he wasn't supposed to but he'd be damned if anyone stopped him. The ones at the hospital weren't and it was obvious that it didn't help any. He was going to try this approach and see if he did any better. Even without trying though he knew he already was doing better than them.

He cared and it was already beginning to show that Sam knew as well.

Unfortunately trust also had to be gained before they went into all that but Dean found that he didn't care much as long as Sam was okay.

As long as nothing bad happened he'd spend the rest of his lifetime hoping that he could gain Sam's trust.


End file.
